awesomephilia:

life may be rough but boobs are really really soft

(Source: dutchster, via thisiswhywecanthavenicethings)

@7 months ago with 193231 notes
@1 year ago with 59 notes

thesillysorostitute:

dietcokeporfavor:

Condescending literary pun dog

omg the english major in me just died laughing

(via exclamationerin)

@1 year ago with 5242 notes

Anonymous said: how much does sex cost?

I only accept orgasms as a method of payment. Name your price.

@1 year ago

postscriptpages:

(Would the perishable nature of these vex a vexillologist?)

@1 year ago with 145632 notes

Fuck Otters

Cute little bastards.

@11 months ago with 1 note
denialtwister:

I hate this douchebag.

denialtwister:

I hate this douchebag.

@1 year ago with 82 notes

"

Here’s what our parents never taught us:

You will stay up on your rooftop until sunlight peels away the husk of the moon,
chainsmoking cigarettes and reading Baudelaire, and
you will learn that you only ever want to fall in love with someone
who will stay up to watch the sun rise with you.

You will fall in love with train rides, and sooner or later you will
realize that nowhere seems like home anymore.

A woman will kiss you and you’ll think her lips are two petals
rubbing against your mouth.

You will not tell anyone that you liked it.
It’s okay.
It is beautiful to love humans in a world where love is a metaphor for lust.

You can leave if you want, with only your skin as a carry-on.

All you need is a twenty in your pocket and a bus ticket.
All you need is someone on the other end of the map, thinking about the supple
curves of your body, to guide you to a home that stretches out for miles
and miles on end.

You will lie to everyone you love.
They will love you anyways.

One day you’ll wake up and realize that you are too big for your own skin.

Molt.
Don’t be afraid.

Your body is a house where the shutters blow in and out
against the windowpane.

You are a hurricane-prone area.
The glass will break through often.

But it’s okay. I promise.

Remember,
a stranger once told you that the breeze
here is something worth writing poems about.

"

“Here’s What Our Parents Never Taught Us,” Shinji Moon (via commovente)

(via wholesomeblogging)

@1 year ago with 82279 notes

why did penisonly.tumblr.com go? where are all the penses? some were good looking. oh my god and the sister site with vaginas is also down. now its driving school. why is it driving school? what do penes have to do with driving? 

@1 year ago with 2 notes

I miss my pretty, pretty girlfriend.

Her smile makes the world go ‘round. 

@1 year ago